Frantically fighting the ominous darkness,
Watching the tiny sun steadily flee...
Demons are hiding - some of them mine -
Behind the darkening shadows.
Trying to hide behind pillars, myself,
I am always unwittingly on display
In a cage of mesh and metal,
Unable to see who is watching.
Longing to once again sink into plush,
And leather, and metal, and warm white wax.
To gratefully beg on my knees -
Bring it all back - insouciant summer,
Sweat dripping determined down my back,
Arms held outstretched for I know I now can fly.
And fly, little dove, I do.
But in those chilly winter gusts I have no choice but captivity.
Draw tightly the shades and resign myself
To a tiny snowglobe world- "Cell two hundred and ten"
Walking outside, an invisible leash -
The most delicate ropework of fear -
Keeps me unable to stray and unwilling to try.
Inside, sometimes those walls
Posses a sense of dread.
They feel like they are closing in -
Suffocating in low light.
Grip around my throat so tightly
If I move I might just black out
And then come back to, in a flurry of hysterical tears.
Dreams of reading "Heathcliff" and "Earnshaw"
Scrawled in morning dew on the walls...
The beautiful siren I await
Arrives in a vision of repression turned to evil.
A hideous sight - and I tremble awake.
Mummified in Egyptian cotton,
The grip of flesh keeps me grounded,
He holds me down where I know I am safe.
I hate the reasons to live hidden away
As I hate to dream of walking in hallways alone,
Yet once I am in it, sufficiently barricaded,
I can breathe a little more.
Freedom can live within my cell walls,
As long as I remain obedient
To the rules of this delicate game.
I am the prey, this is understood.
But in this particular captivity
I am kept safe from the evil snakes
That quietly pass us by each day,
Whispering in hisses that this game is not over yet.
Caress my bound hands and tell me "It all was only a dream"
And in this calming room I could
Relax enough that my wrists
Are at one with the fear and desire for safety
That marked my skin so red.
And it could become a part of me
Enough that still I could find
Some content in captivity.
Watching the tiny sun steadily flee...
Demons are hiding - some of them mine -
Behind the darkening shadows.
Trying to hide behind pillars, myself,
I am always unwittingly on display
In a cage of mesh and metal,
Unable to see who is watching.
Longing to once again sink into plush,
And leather, and metal, and warm white wax.
To gratefully beg on my knees -
Bring it all back - insouciant summer,
Sweat dripping determined down my back,
Arms held outstretched for I know I now can fly.
And fly, little dove, I do.
But in those chilly winter gusts I have no choice but captivity.
Draw tightly the shades and resign myself
To a tiny snowglobe world- "Cell two hundred and ten"
Walking outside, an invisible leash -
The most delicate ropework of fear -
Keeps me unable to stray and unwilling to try.
Inside, sometimes those walls
Posses a sense of dread.
They feel like they are closing in -
Suffocating in low light.
Grip around my throat so tightly
If I move I might just black out
And then come back to, in a flurry of hysterical tears.
Dreams of reading "Heathcliff" and "Earnshaw"
Scrawled in morning dew on the walls...
The beautiful siren I await
Arrives in a vision of repression turned to evil.
A hideous sight - and I tremble awake.
Mummified in Egyptian cotton,
The grip of flesh keeps me grounded,
He holds me down where I know I am safe.
I hate the reasons to live hidden away
As I hate to dream of walking in hallways alone,
Yet once I am in it, sufficiently barricaded,
I can breathe a little more.
Freedom can live within my cell walls,
As long as I remain obedient
To the rules of this delicate game.
I am the prey, this is understood.
But in this particular captivity
I am kept safe from the evil snakes
That quietly pass us by each day,
Whispering in hisses that this game is not over yet.
Caress my bound hands and tell me "It all was only a dream"
And in this calming room I could
Relax enough that my wrists
Are at one with the fear and desire for safety
That marked my skin so red.
And it could become a part of me
Enough that still I could find
Some content in captivity.
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